Another morning in Poole harbour.

Beautiful day!

It's a vein-rupturing stonker of a day, comrades, so pull on those old culottes, get out there and put a smile on someone's face with your own.  I know you will.

A Summer's Blush

I asked if I could see her chesticles.  She said only if I can see your crotchoris.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

A highly qualified and very experienced psychiatrist once told me that I had Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Of course, I told him we was full of shit.

Today's Horrorscope: Virgo

Virgo: As your Sign suggests, your virtue and standing in society are important to you. With Venus in transit and Scabies entering the Third House, you will be surprised to learn that everyone thinks you're a right slapper and my brother's mate saw you getting fingered behind the chippy by that Turkish bloke.  Expect an embarrassing and persistent itch - with foul smelling discharge - towards the end of the month.

A Retrospective.

I've put together a few pages of some of my writing that I'm thinking of compiling.  It's just scribbles really, but you never know, you might find something that amuses you:

Today's Horrorscope

Capricorn: Yes, you think everything's just ducky right now, but think again. Perhaps that sensitive side you loved so much in your man indicates a latent homosexuality, or, at the very least, a preference for clean bedsheets. As Venus and Jupiter align towards the middle of the month expect a shift in your professional life – you're being made redundant. Indulge yourself in your new-found leisure time with impossible budgets, agonizing over child care on the remote chance you might ever find a decent job again, and a profound and deep-seated regret over how your life turned out.